Or in or wherever it is that you properly should drop.
I haven’t blogged for longer than I can remember (which is not as long as I’d like♦) and you know what? I’ve missed it.
Meanwhile, various canal holidays have been had, various family problems have moved into better configurations and just recently I’ve had benign postural, paroxysmal vertigo, a broken car and
a mysteriously damaged ankle.
So, benign. I always imagined this as a description of something somehow warm, pleasant, comfy. Actually it seems that, medically it means ‘not malignant’. That seems to me to cover a very wide range of conditions (like normal for instance) and not to exclude a lot of conditions that I personally would never describe as benign. Got to love the medical language?
The other part of the description means you have a bit of stuff floating in your ear canal and when you tip your head in some directions, it floats along the little hairs in your ear and tells your brain that the world is going round and round. One of the ways to find out which particular canal the bit of stuff is floating in, is to tip your head around a bit and watch your eyes. When the world goes round, your eyes follow it as far as they can and then try again and a trained observer can see them flicking back and forth and make an informed guess about which way your head should be tipped next. When the observer is a rather nice looking doctor, gazing gently into your eyes, you (that’s me) are tempted to ask him to stop going round and round so you can reciprocate. Never mind. The treatment is an impressively low tech business of having your head tipped this way and that and gazing into the above mentioned eyes. Works a treat.
The car was all about it’s computer and deserves a rant all of its own. Perhaps I shall give it one sometime. I think it’s fixed now.
Meanwhile, my ankle hurt. Sometimes. Sometimes not. Usually not for long but as days went by, rather longer and more. After a while I realised that actually getting upstairs was sometimes extraordinarily painful. Sometimes not. Hurrying to the loo was sometimes quite challenging. Sometimes not. Yesterday the sometimes was prolonged into most of the evening and the sometimes not was a couple of short breaks when I trotted around cursing a bit because I hadn’t got quite a lot done during the sometimes. The thing is, whenever it goes away I think it really has gone (ever hopeful in spite of the evidence to the contrary) and also, bafflingly, it shows no sign of bruising, swelling, heat, lumps, bumps, deformities or indeed anything at all that you can see. Eventually I decided it was just lying when it pretended to have gone away and rang the surgery and they offered an appointment on Friday. After a session involving making chilli while standing on one leg and hopping backwards and forwards whenever I forgot where I’d left my glass of wine or an ingredient I rang them again and said actually, what have you got in the way of emergency appts tomorrow morning. Shortly after making the phone call it all went away again and didn’t return all evening. Typical. By the time of the appointment I knew I was going to have to go and say, well it doesn’t hurt now but when it does hurt it hurts like hell – Honest! And naturally I looked up ankles on the internet and was confidently able to reject torn achilles tendons, broken ankles, plantar fascitiis (which I already have so I knew that anyway) and sprains.
I’m very grateful to the Doctor for accepting quite blithely that I really had something wrong even though there were absolutely no visible symptoms whatsoever – nor even, at the time, any invisible ones. He complimented me on my bandaging and then on the mobility and flexibility of the ankle itself (very good for an ankle of its age). We agreed that it was very odd and that I probably didn’t have any of the above mentioned problems and after some thought, he said brightly that I might have a loose body. No, not the whole body, just a little bit of something in there which shouldn’t be – perhaps a bit of bone. Though bearing in mind the benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (very heavy all those words, they make my mind ache as well as my ankle) I wondered if in fact my body is getting a bit loose. Who knows where next an unwanted loose bit might appear. Plenty of scope between the ear and the ankle!
Doctor sent me off, all hopeful, for an xray to look for loose bodies but alas, the radiologist assured me that there was no obvious sign of them in my ankle. She looked thoughtful and said I might have to have an MRI scan to look more carefully. I can see this going on for ages and then suddenly vanishing just as everyone has decided it’s a permanent, incurable, unidentifiable condition. Actually I really don’t mind looking silly as long as it does go away – fairly soon, for preference.
I am resigned to further hobbling for the moment and have acquired Barney’s old crutches from many years ago when he broke his ankle. My word they are good! Much better than a walking stick or the occasional bit of furniture.
I am about to gain another year. I think I’ll be 64 – having a December birthday has always confused me and indeed confused my doctor when I was 29 and pregnant for the first time. He assured me I was an elderly primagravidae and took some convincing that I wasn’t just one of those weird people who pretend that they’re 29 until they die. Anyway, I hope this isn’t going to be the year when I have to stop trundling around the countryside with a camera. Well it won’t be. I’ll just have to do it more slowly. And rig up a camera carrying crutch. That should work don’t you think?
I’ve been playing with Photoshop. Here are some seriously unnatural photos.
They’re effectively just colour negatives and it’s quite fun only I wish green didn’t invert into purple.
Damn. I’ve left my wine in the kitchen again. Got to go.
♦That’s the remembering, not the blogging