Something has gone wrong with my mash.

I’ve always used Maris Piper for roasting, baking and mashing.  They still roast ok but the last three batches of mash have been unmitigated disasters. Gluey and tasteless and revolting.  I’m using the same saucepan and cooker and (hand) masher and kitchen.  I cut them up the same way and I cook them for the same length of time.  I drain them and leave them for a couple of minutes to let the steam and excess water evaporate, chuff them up in the saucepan and then mash them while they’re still hot.  I’m not doing anything different and yet the minute I start mashing they turn to glue.  I can see even before I start mashing that they aren’t disintegrating properly.

Thing is I’m quite proud of my mash.  I love potatoes and all the marvellous things you can do with them.  And mash may be one of the quickest and simplest but it’s still one of the best.  Even, I’ve had compliments on my mash – light and fluffy, lovely, just right – all that sort of stuff which I wouldn’t dream of taking for granted!

I feel as if I’d got in my car and put it in first gear and the car went backwards! ♠

Well the only thing I can think of that’s changed is the (globally warmed) growing conditions.  Or, I suppose, Waitrose may have started using a different supplier with questionable maris pipers.  Or, I’ve mislaid a marble and I’m not doing at all what I think I am.  (But really, I am).  So I looked up mash and gluey mash and potato problems and all kinds of stuff on the internet.  As far as I can tell, even Jamie Oliver would approve my choice of potato and my technique.  As far as I can tell, I’m not doing any of the things that lead to gluey mash.  Not many suggestions that maris might not be doing so well this year though many interesting ideas about how to improve a poor potato yield.  For instance, in response to a question about few tubers growing from healthy plants  “water. how more water they have more potatoes you get. mulching doubles the yield at least. clay is not problem.“

Hopefully, clay is not problem.  Hopefully I just need to use a different kind of potato.

So am I alone?  Has anyone else noticed a failure of Maris Pipers to behave as normal?  Or any other potatoes for that matter.

Anyway, tonight’s potatoes are not a huge problem as they’re going on top of shepherd’s pie and I’ve put loads of parsley in them and grated cheese on top. But I won’t love them.

Still in the kitchen, last week, we discovered the cause of the occasional, large puddle on the worktop.  The kettle was leaking.  (And we both thought we were being excessively watery with our cleaning).  Closer investigation revealed that there was a crack next to the water level indicator, so I got a new kettle.  Two big advantages of the new kettle are 1. That it doesn’t leak and 2. That it pours without dribbling everywhere.   I can almost forgive it the purply blue light that illuminates the water level gauge when it’s heating up.  There are potential annoyances that you can’t easily assess when you see a kettle in a shop and it’s really nice that this kettle doesn’t do one of them.

The blue light effect is usually labelled as a ‘feature’ and therefore considered a plus when buying so I’m glad they didn’t bother to mention it this time as I would have rejected it out of hand if I’d known it was going to do that – who needs faux space ship lighting effects with their coffee?  ‘Pours without dribbling’ would be a much better feature to advertise, in my (NSH) opinion but I suppose that’s assumed to be a given.

When we got the last kettle, I was so incensed by the dribbling that I looked it up on google and got all kinds of ideas about dribbling kettles.  (I thought there might be a gadget, somewhere out there, called ‘dribble stop’ or something like that.  Actually I think there may have been but I wasn’t interested in anything that cost more than 50p).  The cheapest option I could find was the suggestion that I should smear a little grease on the edge of the spout to do something to its coefficient of friction.♠♠

This was obviously nonsense since teapots have been dribbling, or not dribbling, since the beginning of tea time and most teapots have been made of and glazed with very similar, if not identical materials.  Some of them dribble and some of them don’t and it’s obvious, to the unscientific mind, that the difference is in the shape of the spout, not the coefficient of friction of the glaze/ceramic/metal/plastic/etc/etc.  I could be wrong, of course.  Do tell, if you know something about this.♠♠♠♠

I did try it, in the interests of domestic science and, lo and behold, it didn’t work though it did make me feel a bit queasy about the next few cups of tea.  I would love to go to Nepal (or is it Tibet?♠♠♠♠♠) but I’m not sure I would get on with the buttery tea they brew there.

Far from the kitchen (as far as the bottom of the garden) Barney made a bonfire.  I had to rush outside with the camera, abandoning a visiting friend, who quite understood as she is also a photographer.

Oak tree casting a spell

Smoked oak (I suppose the spell didn’t work)

Even further away, there was a purple evening (not quite as it came out of the camera though it really was quite purple)

And since it’s that time of year, a bit of blossom

Coo!  Innnit loverly!

♠ Actually this did happen to me in the middle of  my driving test.  Well ok, it didn’t happen to me, I put the car into reverse gear instead of first.  Three times.  The examiner was very understanding and since I didn’t actually touch the curb, he didn’t fail me.  I shall always remember him with affection.

♠♠  I’m not sure if made up this phrase or dimly remember it from somewhere.  It sounds good though, doesn’t it, and if you read it like poetry, without trying to understand every word, some sort of idea of my intent will filter into your consciousness. ♠♠♠

♠♠♠ What?  You understand poetry?  Wow.

♠♠♠♠ Snigger – if you’re prepared to admit that you’re as ‘sad’ as me.

♠♠♠♠♠  Outer Mongolia?  I’d love to go there too.