Letouttoplay

Life, photos but not the universe

Well, now I’m not sure if that was the right day after all.

So Mr Hypno came, late, went to the wrong house and after I trotted up the road and brought him back, brought in his carrier bags of equipment.  I made him a cup of tea.  We sat down and he began to explain how the hypnosis was going to be done and what I needed to do.  Then we put on our earphones and started off on the real business.  It was probably unfortunate that he didn’t speak very distinctly.  Also, I found it exasperating that my eyes weren’t in the least bit heavy and it required a lot of concentration to keep them shut.  And when he asked me to count backwards from 500 while ignoring what he was saying to me I got quite confused.   And I did think, several times, as I’d been warned would happen both by Mr Hypno and the Youngests,  this hypnosis isn’t happening at all.  It’s a waste of – he called it time but I was thinking money!  And commitment.

Ok so when he did the final “now I’m going to count to three and snap my fingers (and I really do think he might have had the decency to learn how to do this instead of saying “snap” since he did it lots of times.)  and then you’ll come out and it’ll all be good” (no he didn’t say that last bit, I was feeling irritated about the pretend snapping and I didn’t pay attention)  I was already thinking ooh I could do with a fag.  Since I’d been promised no cravings it was disappointing to feel almost exactly the amount of craving I’d expect after two hours of abstinence and hard concentration.  He took away my leftover tobacco while I wondered if the completely unaltered readiness/desire for a fag would go away or dissipate or something.  He also sat around talking for half an hour at least while I remembered wistfully that a cig is a wonderful way to escape from a bore.  (It’s also a pain when you want one and you’re with someone really interesting but life’s like that).

After he’d gone I had to rush a bit to get some shopping.  I have to say I was feeling a bit ratty, since I was still feeling quite keen to have a cig.  And I know lots of people get over it with will power but I’d just paid quite a lot of money to avoid having to get over it at all.  Absolutely no cravings was what the Youngests said.  Not even the slightest interest in having a cigarette.  Anyway, I’ve told everyone I’m not smoking any more and I can’t just say it didn’t work properly, I’d look a complete fool wouldn’t I.  So I didn’t do any sneaky tobacco shopping and I didn’t follow Barney around to sniff any stray smoke he might leave in the air and I got on with dinner.

Well it’s bed time now and perhaps, as long as I don’t think about it too much, if at all, it’s ok.  I dimly recall water being mentioned as an alternative for cravings.  I’m keeping a glass handy.

Next day

I’m not thinking about it Ok?  Because if I give in and have one, I can get a free re-run and I really don’t want to spend another tedious and mentally exhausting two hours trying to keep my eyes shut and not to argue inside my head.  Good word craving isn’t it.  If you’ve had them (for whatever reason) you immediately understand completely what we mean.  If you haven’t then you can gaze upon us who have, in blissful ignorance and polite misunderstanding.  Just, if you ever accidentally get addicted or pregnant, you’ll suddenly get the picture.  Be warned.  Having said that, I don’t remember feeling any desperate cravings when I was pregnant, though I did realise I must be pregnant with the second one when I noticed that I had just eaten six oranges in fifteen minutes without noticing that I was doing it.  The thing about cravings, I suppose , is that you only notice that you’ve got them if you aren’t able to satisfy them.

However, I did wake up and get up extremely early this morning and was rewarded by sunshine and mist.  I can only assume that the early sunrise and the non-existent cravings combined to wake me and stir me into movement.   Probably I’m imagining these non-existent cravings anyway.

I happen to know there’s a real castle up there somewhere

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Riverside woods

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A folly to be going on with

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Folly.  There’s a word to conjure with.

I’m off.  Got to catch up on this morning’s earliness.  Thank you for all your kind thoughts, just wish I could produce a more positive result.  Grrrrumble.  Muttter.  And so on.

Sleep well.

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March 5, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized

7 Comments »

  1. Sounds as if you were not in a very relaxed state of mind to begin.Running up and down the street, fetching and skivvying.Oh dear…

    I had to ask Mr. Google about the electronic cigs. Sounds quite revolting! Maybe we should have stuck to the original Native American method. (Easy for me to say since I’m not a smoker!)

    I think we’re all quietly on your side, but we shan’t keep bludgeoning you.

    It’s lovely to be out and about at that hour, even in chilly weather.And you made the best of it.Why did those Victorian follies all look so Gothic?

    Comment by dinahmow | March 6, 2013 | Reply

  2. Well……damn.

    I think you did the right thing in letting people know–it does help to have the support….and accountability. *wince* Yes, I know……painful, BUT….as one who’s had to do some of that battle–eeeshhhh…….not fun stuff. Persevere. You CAN. And, at the time of the last post you ARE.

    And holy cow–wake up to mornings like that more often and take lotsa photos. WOW does that mist add to the feel like you wouldn’t believe. Okay, you’d believe! LOL 😉

    Comment by Mel | March 6, 2013 | Reply

  3. Tha’s a bugger!

    But the picture with the folly looks like another world, go back and see if there’s a magical being who can banish your non-cravings. Looks the sort of place you might find one.

    Comment by Linda | March 6, 2013 | Reply

  4. Yes, we are all on your side. And I would have found it almost impossible to sit so long with my eyes closed – and my mind running amok. Like Di, I’m not a smoker, but I have a multitude of other addictivenesses and I’ve never made much attempt to keep any of them in check, so I admire your spirit. A boring hypnotist – I’ve never thought much about it but I suppose if he was the life of the party you’d have been having such a good time you still wouldn’t have been hypnotised. Hang in there… and keep taking those gorgeous and magical photos.

    Comment by Carol | March 6, 2013 | Reply

  5. Was it because they’d all read Mary Shelley and Bram Stoker? There was a lot of very gothic horror/romance around wasn’t there.
    I think if hypnosis works it ought to work whatever state of mind you’re in to start with but you have to give much more input than I realised so maybe not.

    Yes Mel, it’s the accountability bit that’s working! And the support helps of course. No point in making a big gesture if everyone just yawns : )

    T’is another world Linda – a local Golf and country club. Fortunately there is a public footpath through it or I’d have had to trespass even more. The folly is boarded up with rather tasteless chipboard though, I’m not sure what sort of being could survive that!

    Well I do deserve a medal for staying more or less on the ball for so long Carol! It was actually very hard work, lots of concentration and listening very hard to make sure I was answering the right question.

    Comment by Mig | March 6, 2013 | Reply

  6. This is how I gave up. It works.
    http://forums.quitnet.com/community/talk/

    Comment by rozanne | March 8, 2013 | Reply

  7. Thank you for that link rozanne. At the moment I’m finding it’s best not to think about it – well as little as possible anyway. The hypnotherapy is working, if I had done it completely cold I would be completely up the walls and out the chimney by now. Just not as easy as I’d hoped.

    Comment by Mig | March 8, 2013 | Reply


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