Life, photos but not the universe

I’ve lost my glasses – 1

And the internet’s off.

Without my glasses (the computer and music ones) it’s all a bit of a blur anyway.  Nonetheless I have spent most of the evening torn between glasses hunting (wearing the distance/reading bifocals) and checking that the internet still isn’t working.  Interspersed with attempts to remember how to play a tune which I’m supposed to be playing by heart on Sunday.  I don’t seem to have learnt it well enough to play without my glasses even though I can definitely do it from memory when I am wearing them.  (How does that work?)

Barney’s gone out as well so I’ve been waiting for him to come home in the obviously vain hope that he will have inadvertently taken them away with him.  After all, last time I lost them he’d run over them in the car.  Oh and to make sure I haven’t lost him too.

On the internet front, I’ve done all that crawling about underneath the desk, plugging and unplugging things in a precise and absolutely logical order to see if any of them were disconnected* And, yes, the computer, the router and the phone are all switched on.  (And no, my glasses aren’t down there).  It’s behaving like either we, personally**, have been cut off or the whole broadband is down.  I could ask?

Oh pooh!  Eclipse support is open from 8am till 8pm.  I’ve missed them by hours.

Perhaps I took the glasses out to the car this afternoon and they’re on the seat?

If I wore my other glasses, I’d be able to see in the mirror if the reason all the double stopping bits are sounding like a strangled cat is because the bow isn’t right – if I could remember how to play those bits without looking at the music and while being distracted by the slightly appalling vision of myself in the mirror.  Or it might turn out that every time I go upstairs to practice the cat actually is busy down here, strangling herself?  Perhaps with my glasses??

I wonder if she’s found them somewhere they (or she) shouldn’t have been and has killed them for fun?

I wonder if she’s eaten the wires that connect the computer to the outside world?


Could I have left them inside the fiddle?***  The fridge?  The oven?  The dishwasher?  The washing machine?

The bath?


Well I tried having a glass of wine.  That didn’t seem to reconnect the internet, reveal my glasses or improve my practising.

I suppose, in the morning, my glasses will appear, probably in a place I have looked at several times tonight, the internet will be connected again and will blandly show no sign of ever having left.  The fiddle playing won’t have improved much but I still have Thursday, Friday and Saturday to work on it.

I keep looking but the two little televisions down at the bottom of the screen are still unornamented by a tiny world.  The funny thing is, if the internet worked I’d write a post, abandon my glasses, practice blindly and curse a lot.  If I hadn’t lost my glasses I’d wrestle with the internet and practice comfortably and curse a lot.  As it is I’m just running around like a distracted bat.  Belfrys come to mind.

Bah Humbug!

Bridges and mist and early morning sun are nicer.

*I always knew spell check can’t do grammar.  It thought the subject (object??  Whatever – I know what I mean) of disconnected was the singular ‘a precise and logical order’ when clearly it’s the plural ‘things’

**.  Have I paid them this month?

***No I don’t often put them there; I’m just doing a quick Sherlock.  When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must might be the truth.  Also, when I lose my glasses, I feel the approach of senile-whatever-it-is, looming.  Breathing over my shoulder probably, only I’m getting too deaf to hear it.  I might after all have had a seriously senior moment and then who knows what I might have done – however improbable.


March 31, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Microwave.
    Inbetween couch cushions?
    TELL me you didn’t put them on top your head and only discovered them when you retired for the night.
    Medicine cabinet.
    Fridge. Freezer, maybe!

    k….the cat ate ’em.
    Cats are like that yaknow…always messin’ with their humans……

    JUST sayin’.
    (and noting I’m much like a cat…..)

    Mess with us would ya?
    (((((((((((pussy cat Mel))))))))))))
    But no, not on/in any of those places.

    Comment by Mel | April 1, 2011 | Reply

  2. a pocket? a bag? down the back of a radiator?

    I sympathise, can hardly see anything these days wothout one or other pairs on (too chicken to go bifocal!)

    and as for the internet – pffffft. . . half the time my “new” computer tells me its “not responding” and I just sit watching and waiting while the screen goes fuzzy and a little circly thing whirls round and round. . .

    oh well!!


    Yes Inukshuk. Oh well. : )

    Comment by english inukshuk | April 1, 2011 | Reply

  3. On the bridge of your nose? On the bridge of your violin? You left them at the bridge club?

    (If you can’t read this ask someone to read it for you)

    Double stopping. Wow, impressive. Not too bad if one of the strings is open, but if not….plenty of vibrato can make the impossible seem at your finger-tips. And you don’t need glasses for vibrato. There’s always a silver lining.

    Definitely none of those Christopher.
    Double stopping would sound better if the cat joined in. She could purr vibratoishly.

    Comment by Christopher | April 1, 2011 | Reply

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