Letouttoplay

Life, photos but not the universe

For what it’s worth

You know how they keep saying that, on beauty product ads, “because you’re worth it“?

It drives me nuts.

Long ago I decided or accepted that no one owes me anything and only I choose what I might be prepared to owe anyone else.  As a child, I was never given to understand that I had adequately earned anything and it has always been hard for me to believe that I could.  I used to think, sometimes that I could con people into thinking I had and then I realised that a lot of  other people are just as bright as I am and so if they thought I’d earned something they were probably right.  None of us needs to believe other people are more stupid than we are unless there’s proof.

Anyway.  What’s with this worth it thing anyway?  I’m worth some crap face paint? Some stuff to fill in cracks and tell lies about my age? My years? My life?  My face?  If I’m ‘worth’ anything, it’s written on my face and in the wrinkles around my eyes and I’m not ashamed of it. Those things are mine.  Aren’t they good enough for me?  If not, that’s my problem and it won’t be fixed with paint and cream.

Self worth now.  Again, worth what?  Am I for sale?  I don’t ever recall offering myself?  And what price can you put on a self?  How many apples is a life worth?  As many as someone will give or as many as someone asks?  Uh uh.  I am, thank you very much, my own self.  If I were to put a value on that I’d be putting a box round it.  Putting a limit on it.  I don’t need that.  I’m priceless : )

(And it hasn’t escaped my notice that quite often when people talk about self worth, they’re really talking about doing things you don’t want to do in order to make yourself feel as though it’ll improve you and therefore is worth doing.  In spite of not wanting to.)

Anyway, feeling decidedly virtuous after a shower and tidy-up and clearing of various tasks and also, having done my hair neatly (instead of scrabbling it into some kind of semi-order as I’ve been doing recently), I decided to add to my virtuousness by taking the dog out and giving him an extra long amble in the field.  (that would be half an hour instead of twenty minutes).  Immediately, as we arrived at the field, a brisk downpour descended upon us and my nice hair was flattened, one of my boots started to leak and the dog suggested that we hurry up and go home (he’s such a wimp about rain).  So much for extra virtue!

Meanwhile, they tell me, Spring is heading this way.  Indeed, the snowdrops are out and even a few crocuses are glowing yellow on the bank.  (I’d take a photo but it’s pouring with rain out there).  What’s more, it’s a good bit warmer today.  I’m really looking forward to Spring.  It’s been a long, cold winter.  An excellent thing I imagine, for the confused and globally warmed wildlife but, well, it’s only natural to look forward to warmth at its proper place and in its proper time – that would be tomorrow then?  No?  Next week?  Next month?

Soon, please.

Oh and today, I opened a bill for heating oil – Oh good I thought, I’ll be glad to get that sorted.  Er, just a minute ….. £4,999.68 ????????????

Ok, back to the phone.

On the subject of Spring though, last night a fellow diner (we went out for diner) said he’d seen a frog crossing the road and today, I notice that the dog is moulting copiously again (he’s been wonderfully, thickly and solidly hairy all winter).  Also, the birds have been singing a lot recently, loudly and in chorus.  Could be good news.

I knew I had a frog somewhere

And I thought you’d like to see the little harris hawk on his way home past the pub.  He didn’t sing much I have to say.

I’ll spare you a photo of dog moulting.  It’s not particularly interesting, take my word for it.

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February 25, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized

5 Comments »

  1. Oh I loved your post today.. I do wish my skin was younger; but I like your reminder that we EARNED our wrinkles.. Especially the laugh lines. !!!

    Oh most especially he laughter lines Betty : )

    Comment by Betty | February 25, 2010 | Reply

  2. …..because you’re worth it.

    k…..well…..can I just tell ya that I’m glad I don’t bother to invest my time or energy into television or magazines. I’d undo the whole cable deal if it weren’t for the Brit’s obsession with the weather channel. *laughing* It’s soooooooo not worth it. (just so ya know—8/8 wrong in the past month. *shaking head*

    I don’t know that I’m the proud owner of my wrinkles. It hasn’t been til the last two years that I’ve really been bothered by them. I think it’s the 5 dropped dress sizes and what happens with non-youthful/non-elasticised skin. *sigh*
    Have I rushed out and purchased bottles of gunk to hide/correct it….nah……it just is what it is and I deal. But I haven’t advanced to the proud part yet–still working on accepting it IS what it is (as you and the rest of the world probably gathered by my whining! LOL)

    But I love the frog.
    And the birdie.
    And OMG tell me you settled that heating bill mess up…..it WAS a mess up, right?!
    O
    M
    G

    ((((((((((( Mig )))))))))))
    Betcha I’da liked moulting puppy photos, too……

    The weather forecasts are about as reliable as anti-aging cream it seems to me Mel : ) It would be nice to have some idea of what to expect from the skies though.
    It’s maybe a bit different when your body changes so suddenly. That seems like not so much earning as getting an unwelcome freebie thrown in with all your other troubles. But I bet you have laughter lines too and kindly eye crinkles.
    ((((((((((((((Mel)))))))))))))))

    Comment by Mel | February 26, 2010 | Reply

  3. I found this so amusing and interesting. . . I’ve been walking around the house with cold feet and chilled bones and decided about half an hour ago that I “was worth” lighting the fire for. . .

    so yes, a justification for something that doesn’t actually need justification – what a mindset!

    recently I succumbed to a product that “covers up” the bags under my eyes. . . kind of like a thin foundation/concealer (I never wear that kind of make-up; mascara and lippie and blisher perhaps, but not full on war paint) and a couple of people have said to me “you look really well” which I attribute to not have dark circles under my eyes. . . but perhaps they’d have said that anyhow (and who knows what they’re comparing me to?)

    I could yabber on for ages – but I won’t

    lovely frog!!

    blue skies here today, hope you have them too

    XX

    Warmth is good I. You are good too. You deserve to be warm!
    I have wondered about covering up my bags – I have tremendous bags! And it’s true, they aren’t pretty but it’s a long time since I thought of myself as pretty. More sort of characterful, my face. I think the thing is, if I decided to put stuff on my face it wouldn’t be about worth, it would be a bit of fun maybe or like getting a new skirt. Why not? It’s just that it doesn’t make me feel like a more valuable person. Could be I’m just cranky about this idea?
    xxx and warm hugs : )
    Yes, we had blue skies and lovely clouds but it was colder again.

    Comment by I, Like The View | February 26, 2010 | Reply

  4. It’s not usual for a man to think about his skin and wrinkles, but I will divulge a very personal thing that I do once in a while.
    I look in the mirror, at close range, and make faces. I usually start with a frown, a smile, a snicker and then I allow all my muscles to go slack and look at myself. I see the same person I always have been, from a very young boy through the ages up until the present moment. Then I make funny faces, twisting my lips and scrunching my eyes trying to look mean or like a Pirate Captain, (I was one in a former life).
    For me, I look different, but my mind has always thought of me as the same.
    My hair is another story, but I get the most compliments when I let it go astray and not try to “style” it in any way.
    By the way, I do NOT look at women and notice their skin or make up. I look at the whole creature, body language maybe, how she carries herself. I tend to look at earrings and if they smile, (or look back at me!).

    Peace to all.

    It’s so fascinating that we see ourselves as we are inside even in the mirror ‘Man. I have to say it’s a bit of a shock sometimes catching sight of myself in a shop window – I’ve always been a terrible sloucher and that hasn’t improved with age! I feel so different from that fat, droopy old lady, I do wish I’d been a bit less lazy about that when I was younger. But then, I’ve earned the result just the same as the laughter lines : ) You can’t have it all ways I suppose : )

    Comment by Spadoman | February 26, 2010 | Reply

  5. i just hate that i’m starting to look like my mother so in an effort to reverse the effect i have stopped looking in mirrors!

    I’ve noticed an alarming resemblance to my Grandmother in recent years ziggi. I must try the mirror treatment : )

    Comment by Ziggi | March 1, 2010 | Reply


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