Death, where is thy sting*

We went to a funeral today.  A close friend  whose death from cancer was not unexpected but still stung for it’s prematureness, and a very touching service.  He was a jaguar enthusiast and 12 jaguars led the way from the crematorium after a service in which six people spoke about the times of his life when they knew him.  He was fifty-eight when he died and over two hundred people came to the funeral.  When the body was committed, there was a recording of a BRM V16 lapping Goodwood (I think this means a racing car being driven round the circuit?)  It was, in this context, quite unexpectedly moving.

Anyway, we all went and had a good celebration of his life which was all very nice and now that it’s finished, could we have him back please?

Barney was one of the speakers and said he was sure Robert would have wanted us to smile and not be sad on this occasion.  Um.  I want it on record that when I die, I have no objection to people being sad.  I mean I don’t want any wailing or wallowing or tearing of hair but I’d quite like people to miss me and I have no objection to the odd sniffle and relaxed upper lip!  After that, I’d like them all to go and have a good wake.  It seems to me that positive thoughts and celebration of a lovely person’s life and a jolly good do at the pub after, are all excellent things and very welcome but surely the world wouldn’t come to an end if we were all allowed a good communal howl of sorrow and loss at the end when it comes home to us that we have lost a friend, father, husband, person, for ever.  And then we can all have a drink and a good time remembering  afterwards.  Why not grieve together?

Anyway, today, I was grateful to the BRM – it was moving, noisy and appropriate and it gave a number of people cover for a few sobs and sniffles and very appropriate expressions of sorrow.

XJ13

Here he is, a few months before he died, being driven round the MIRA test track in the fabulous** XJ13.  His driver, a famous test driver from years ago, known in jaguar circles as ‘The Old Man’ was ninety-one and as they rounded a particular bend at 110 mph, said to Robert “that was where I came off in ’71″.

We’ll miss Robert so much.  A kind, clever thoughtful man with a sweet smile, a ready laugh and an endless supply of lovely, warm hugs.  Jaguars were the love of his life (after wife and family of course) but he had boundless enthusiasm for all kinds of other things and the energy and commitment to make exciting things happen and the charm and charisma to bring other people along with him.

*I’m not sure if this is an appropriate quote.  Never mind,  it works well enough out of context.

**I know nothing of racing and sports cars but apparently this was a very special car.  I know there was only the one of it and that it was never raced but only comes out on special occasions.  Like this one : )

:  Sorry, I forgot to say, this is not my photo – it was taken on the day and I don’t know who took it.

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